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10 Steps to Overcome
the
Impostor Syndrome
by Dr. Valerie Young
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Break the silence.
Shame keeps a lot of people from “fessing up” about
their fraudulent feelings. Knowing there’s a name for
these feelings and that you are not alone can be
tremendously freeing.
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Separate feelings from
fact. There are times you’ll feel stupid. It happens to
everyone from time to time. Realize that just because
you may feel stupid, doesn’t mean you are.
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Recognize when you
should feel fraudulent. If you’re one of the first or
the few women or minorities in your field or work place
it’s only natural you’d sometimes feel like you don’t
totally fit in. Instead of taking your self-doubt as a
sign of your ineptness, recognize that it might be a
normal response to being an outsider.
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Accentuate the
positive. Perfectionism can indicate a healthy drive to
excel. The trick is to not obsess over everything being
just so. Do a great job when it matters most. Don’t
persevere over routine tasks. Forgive yourself when the
inevitable mistake happens.
-
Develop a new response
to failure and mistake making. Henry Ford once said,
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more
intelligently.” Instead of beating yourself up for being
human for blowing the big project, do what professional
athletes do and glean the learning value from the
mistake and move on.
-
Right the rules. If
you’ve been operating under misguided rules like, “I
should always know the answer,” or “Never ask for help”
start asserting your rights. Recognize that you have
just as much right as the next person to be wrong, have
an off-day, or ask for assistance.
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Develop a new script.
Your script is that automatic mental tapes that starts
playing in situations that trigger your Impostor
feelings. When you start a new job or project for
example, instead of thinking for example, “Wait till
they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” try
thinking, “Everyone who starts something new feels
off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the
answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.”
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Visualize success. Do
what professional athletes do. Spend time beforehand
picturing yourself making a successful presentation or
calmly posing your question in class. It sure beats
picturing impending disaster and will help with
performance-related stress.
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Reward yourself. Break
the cycle of continually seeking and then dismissing
validation outside of yourself by learning to pat
yourself on the back.
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Fake it ‘til you make it. Now and then we all have to
fly by the seat of our pants. Instead of considering
“winging it” as proof of your ineptness learn to do what
many high achievers do and view it as a skill. Don’t
wait until you feel confident to start putting yourself
out there. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your
behavior first and allow your confidence to build.
Bonus Tip:
Decide to finally put an end to that tired,
self-limiting tape that plays over and over in your
head. Then actively take steps to overcome the Impostor
Syndrome so you can finally start feeling like the
bright, capable person you really are. Click here to
learn more about
How to Feel As Bright and Capable
As Everyone Seems to Think You Are…
starting today. You have nothing to risk and a lifetime
of new achievements and happiness to welcome with open
arms.
Internationally known speaker and self-described
recovering impostor, Dr. Valerie Young is an expert on
the
Impostor Syndrome in women. Her work
focuses on helping women recognize the sources of
chronic self-doubt, perfectionism, procrastination, and
other self-limiting obstacles to success. A short list
of past clients include Bristol-Myers Squibb, Daimler
Chrysler, American Women in Radio and Television,
Society of Women Engineers, Harvard, MIT, and Stanford.
Her work on the Impostor Syndrome has been featured in
Glamour (UK), Self, Inc. Magazine, The Chicago Tribune,
The Boston Globe, The Sydney Morning Herald, the Toronto
Globe & Mail, The Executive Female, and elsewhere.
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The rave reviews from
your Impostor Syndrome workshop are still coming in! I have heard from several
of our engineering students, faculty and industry women, and they all agree that
this was one of the best workshops they have attended.
Dr. Sherry Woods
Director,
Women in
Engineering Program
University of Texas at Austin
Read more comments
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